yesterday was harley’s first ever dance recital.
i wish i could say she was into it, smiled as big and bright as the moon, had the time of her life, made memories for the record books.
instead, we woke her from her nap to get there on time*, shoved her madly into a scratchy, sequiny dress, and then left her in a classroom in an unfamiliar building to be escorted by teachers she didn’t know to a stage in an auditorium filled with HUNDREDS of people. (yes hundreds. i have so much to say about how absurd the event was but … meh. maybe that’s all i feel like saying, after all.)
if you’re guessing at this point that she maybe did NOT so much enjoy the experience? you’d be guessing right.
when the curtain opened on the stage and she took in the sight of a thousand-or-so eyeballs pointed in her general direction… well, first her face just melted into an absolutely hysterical cry of terror. and then after a few seconds of that, maybe her teacher off in the wings got her attention, but she stopped crying. and then just … stood there. completely frozen.
when i went to get her in the same room where i’d dropped her off an hour earlier, she barely even noticed me when i walked in. another little girl in her class pointed to me and then tapped her on the shoulder, “your mommy’s here.” (how she knew me, i’m not really even sure.)
when we came outside to greet her eagerly awaiting grandparents, in pretty true harley fashion, she wasn’t outwardly sad or angry or upset. she was… dazed. bewildered. not exactly …gloomy, but definitely not particularly happy, either.
so it was a little weird (nearly every little girl had makeup on. hopefully i’m not alone in tumblr-world for saying that that’s just entirely unnecessary). i wish we’d stuck with my original assertion that there was no point in attending this recital - all the pomp and circumstance type stuff is very overwhelming to my child and so if that type of thing is supposed to be for their benefit? for her it’s just a waste. it was a shame to be stuck inside a high school auditorium on a gloriously sunny summer afternoon (for $40!!), and not even get to see her smile.
after seeing the grandparents (her favorite people on earth, pretty much) and being given some flowers, this was the best we got.
(apparently even *i* couldn’t be bothered to put on makeup.)
(sidenote: i know this picture isn’t about me likeatall but is there anyway to photoshop those bags out from under my eyes? holy cow.)
operation: find a new (less ridiculous) dance school begins now.
*if you know me, you know what this asterisk means. whatever, we had a 2pm ‘call time’ for a 2:30 show, and harley’s group didn’t even go on until 3. my frustration with this whole experience goes on for days.