judiism

thirtysomething. married. constant laugher. dog person. proud mama. corporate slave. tv junkie. guacamole enthusiast. former (and still occasionally) crunchy hippie.

psst… hi

no baby yet (duh). but i can’t think of anything that isn’t/doesn’t sound really whiny and complain-y so i’ll just keep my mouth shut.

i will say this… i’m scared about what’s coming. doesn’t matter that i’ve been through this before. the unknowns of actual child birth are fucking terrifying, and i usually just deal with that by not acknowledging them (healthy). but as it gets closer, it gets harder to avoid.

it’s not the newborn part - for once i’m not feeling rattled by that - third time’s the charm, i guess? (of course i’m living in a delusional world where i remember nothing of newborn sleep deprived hell and you can feel free to remind me of this later.)

it’s not knowing when exactly my labor will even start and therefore not really being able to prepare with any amount of detail/accuracy who our kids will be with and where they’ll be. it’s not knowing how long i’ll be in pain and how much pain. it’s the dread about something a nurse said to me in the recovery room as i writhed while nursing delilah - “oh those afterbirth pains? they get worse with each kid. sorry.”

so i’m trying to keep myself focused on everything else… like wrapping up mundane details at work. scheduling fun stuff for the weekend ahead. daydreaming about a full night’s sleep…

i win

i’ve been dealing with some really weird and annoying work drama with, of all people, my former boss, who i no longer work for, who no longer even works in the same department, and who really needs to get over whatever the hell it is about me that irks her because she’s begun to look ridiculous to everyone else around her.

but even though i - and other people - know she’s a little bit out of line, it’s still been bringing me down.

so it’s an especially nice feeling that today, out of the blue, my one-on-one check-in with my current boss included the following 2 agenda items:

  • reschedule NYC office hours next week
  • upcoming work location schedule

regarding the first bullet point - she wanted to know if i could switch my city day on monday for wednesday next week so that the team could take me out for a goodbye/celebratory lunch. aw.

and the second bullet point - she wanted to let me know that after next wednesday i should feel free to stop commuting into the city at all.

leadership changes at work can be a tricky thing, but i certainly got the good end of this deal.

i am / have been slightly obsessed with this fruit basket/stand. maybe you (also) recognize it from the corner of giada’s ‘giada at home’ kitchen.
so today i finally decided to google stalk it and see who makes it and where i could get it. the first part of that was laughably easy, but the second part, not so much. the designer, chilewich, no longer makes it and it appears to be sold out anywhere that ever sold it. i mean, i guess that’s what happens when your very cool looking product gets featured on a pretty major tv show but GAH. i’m so disappointed.
this has been a riveting story about a fruit basket. sorry.

i am / have been slightly obsessed with this fruit basket/stand. maybe you (also) recognize it from the corner of giada’s ‘giada at home’ kitchen.

so today i finally decided to google stalk it and see who makes it and where i could get it. the first part of that was laughably easy, but the second part, not so much. the designer, chilewich, no longer makes it and it appears to be sold out anywhere that ever sold it. i mean, i guess that’s what happens when your very cool looking product gets featured on a pretty major tv show but GAH. i’m so disappointed.

this has been a riveting story about a fruit basket. sorry.

36w4d

"nothing is happening."

"his head’s way up high."

"you’re definitely not going early."

and so we wait…

life update: shit’s just falling apart

  • tore a contact last night, didn’t have a spare set
  • lost a screw in one of the arms of my glasses today, so i’m walking around with taped glasses now like a total winner
  • my car registration is expired, i’m past the due date for my inspection, my front window has a big crack (it’s not in my way, it’s towards the very top, (way) above my direct line of sight), the check engine light is on, and my lights are out (i have to drive with the brights on at night - sorry everyone else on the road). i’m basically driving a complete hoopty right now. i’ve just been keeping all extremities crossed that i avoid getting pulled over in the next 3 weeks, because i seriously cannot imagine when i’m going to have time to take care of any of that while i’m working.
  • i freakin love summer just like everyone else but trying to cram in so much good stuff on the weekends obviously means certain things don’t get done… in this weekend’s case, bathing. my children got some face painting at a birthday party on saturday afternoon that i ultimately cleaned off with a wipe before bed last night. uh, sorry everyone at day care today. (i promise i’ll bathe them tonight.)
  • we had a leak in the window in what will be the baby’s room, and we’ve been waiting for the contractor who installed the window to come fix it for like … 2 months now? we’re waiting to paint the room until this gets fixed, because part of the wall around the window was damaged so it needs to be sanded and spackled before it can be painted. but it’s kind of killing me that the baby’s room is still so unfinished. bright idea i just had? paint the other walls for now, and at least the room won’t feel so un-done.
  • and then there’s me… i’m not exactly falling apart, but i am so uncomfortable and unwieldy and OMGTIRED. i had this sort of hilarious but probably true realization that i think i’ll actually get *more* sleep when the baby comes - omg sleeping on my stomach cannot come soon enough. i can’t wait to see the dr tomorrow, because i think maybe i’m far enough along to actually find out if anything is happening. fingers crossed about that, too.

annoying mom question

what food storage containers are you using for day care? i think ours are getting grody and it’s time for some new ones. i’m overwhelmed. help?

had the most twisted (and frighteningly vivid) dream last night that i found out greg was basically leading a double life and had, not only another wife and child, but also a girlfriend on the side.

i was obviously mad at him this morning because pregnant women are the most rational creatures on the planet.

please pray for me as i embark on the treacherous journey of eating a tomato-based soup for lunch, while wearing white pants.

the pants and i thank you.

head games

because i’m CRAZY, i’m now adding a week back to the countdown of this pregnancy.

sometime this past weekend i decided to give up the delusion that i might go early and settle into the fact that with a track record of 2 for 2, this baby will most likely also arrive at 41 weeks, like his sisters.

and if i mentally add the week now, any # of days ‘early’ will feel like a nice surprise.

so, 6 weeks to go! let the revised-and-still-totally-ambiguous countdown begin!